Much was made yesterday of the release of CBS’ warning to the Grammy nominees, but what were they REALLY saying?
“PLEASE WATCH THE GRAMMIES!”
That’s what the real intent was, to get publicity for Sunday’s awards telecast, because really, when you break it down, no one was going to do anything that was on that list, were they?
The only down side to their idea, is now you have may have put some ideas into the heads of people who may give it a shot just to mess with the system.
Let’s go over the memo, shall we?
“Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered . . . thong-type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare, fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. (Couldn’t we use more adult terms here like “intergluteal cleft”?)
“Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. (Why even invite Rhianna, then, if you’re throwing down this rule? That’s all anyone’s tuning in for.)
“Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.” (Now this is just downright confusing. Why is “puffy” in quotes? Do they mean “camel toe”? “Moose knuckle”? Just say it! Puffy could mean being bloated from drinking to much the night before, although that’s never affected my genitals before.)
You can read the whole memo at Deadline.com.
By the way, the email also includes this: Quote, “[CBS] requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.” So right up there with butt crack, America finds charitable organizations you support egregious.