And then there’s this one, which should be retired. What comes out of the box next? “Get Into My Van”?
This is the 147th Valentine’s Day people will celebrate with those candy conversation hearts. Sure, they taste like a mix of chalk and garbage, but the messages on them are the best. Which is why people buy four million pounds of them a year.
“The Atlantic” talked to NECCO, the company behind them, and got a list of some of the messages on the hearts they’ve RETIRED over the years. After all, slang evolves . . . and you don’t want your hearts sounding un-hip, right?
Here are our picks for the top 10 retired conversation heart messages . . .
#10.) HOT CHA.
#9.) The peace symbol.
#8.) 1-800 CUPID.
#7.) YOU ARE LATE. (–In this day and age, people would see that as a teen pregnancy scare.)
#6.) SAUCY BOY.
#5.) HEP CAT.
#4.) DIG ME.
#2.) FAX ME.
#1.) YOU ARE GAY. (–Yep, they really had this one. It was back when it actually meant “You are happy and lighthearted”.)
I wanted to post the classic Jim Gaffigan Valentine’s Day routine, and this was the only version I could find, which makes it weird and less funny.